Next week鈥檚 column鈥檚 going to be coming to you from a river in France on the 半岛体育 cruise! (If you鈥檝e never been, ! Audra and Will are performing on one in 2020!) Until then, I鈥檓 with Mandy, Mateo and Bagel for just a few more days.
We leave for France on Friday, do the 半岛体育 cruise for a week, and then we go to London for fancy meetings and for me to do Deconstructing Broadway. How did I start doing that show, you ask? Are you asking? Well, let鈥檚 say you are. If so, I would answer that I owe my show鈥檚 inspiration to a lot of people. Ever since I was a kid, I would play records for my friends and point out amazing aspects and aspects that gave me a headache. I remember standing in my dorm room at Oberlin and playing parts of The Second Barbra Streisand Album for my friend Ben to demonstrate how brilliant Barbra is. doing one of those songs live back in the 鈥�60s!
Then, in the 鈥�90s, I started doing stand-up comedy around NYC and would always have a section where I鈥檇 play a recording of some musical moment and comment on it. My 鈥済o-to鈥檚鈥� were Aretha Franklin鈥檚 version of 鈥淚 Dreamed a Dream鈥� where she adds the lyrics 鈥淲hat in the hell is going on?鈥� (those lyrics were not on the original London Cast Album or the Broadway recording), Liza Minnelli鈥檚 unexpected Leontyne Price-esque high B flat in 鈥淒ancing in the Moonlight,鈥� and Bea Arthur鈥檚 shocking spoken-word ending to 鈥淒on鈥檛 Rain On My Parade.鈥� But they were just a soupcon in my act鈥nly a few minutes.
In the early 2000s, Jackie Hoffman asked me to do a Hanukkah comedy show at Ars Nova and I needed something Jewish-themed, so I decided to show the audience how Barbra Streisand sings a completely different consonant in the words 鈥渁part鈥� (changing the T to a D) and 鈥渕ute鈥� (changing the T to an L). Sometimes I would show video clips of moments I was obsessed with and I would sometimes do a segment on the Brady Bunch Variety Hour. at a fundraiser for marriage equality on the stage of Wicked.
I did a deconstruction during a benefit for Only Make Believe (a great charity organization run by Dena Hammerstein that brings theatre to hospitalized children) and, after the show, I was at the party and someone from Brad Oscar's family came up to me. (Nota bene: It was years ago, but I think it was his mom because I remember his sister was playing Miss Hannigan somewhere). She told me that she loved how I 鈥渄econstructed鈥� the Brady Bunch. I thought it was hilarious to put such an academic word on what I was doing and I began calling these bits 鈥渄econstructing.鈥� Then Tom Viola of Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS asked me to a segment for Gypsy Of The Year (now called the Red Bucket Follies). I combined my signature Bea Arthur bit with the Barbra Streisand bit I had put together for Jackie Hoffman鈥檚 show and it went great.
Here it is:
After the show, I ran into Rosie O鈥橠onnell and she told me I should do an entire show of just what I did that day. Really? All 鈥渄econstructing鈥�? I had never thought of that. Those bits had always been the spice of my comedy show, not the actual show. But I decided to try it! I put together deconstructions of everything I wanted people to know about Broadway: amazing things like why vibrato is amazing, specifically why audiences are thrilled by the voices of Patti LuPone and Betty Buckley, why the fluidity in Billy Porter鈥檚 riffs make him so unique鈥s well as horrific things like why the Osmonds should have simply said 鈥淣O鈥� to performing a medley from Fiddler on the Roof. I did it at Ars Nova around 2004 and it was a hit, which led to my first out-of-town booking in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Yes, Amish country loved the contrast between Patti LuPone鈥檚 鈥淩ainbow High鈥� versus Madonna鈥檚. Since then I鈥檝e done them all over the country (and won the IRNE award in Boston) and I鈥檓 coming back to London! I鈥檒l be at Crazy Coqs on Monday and Tuesday April 15 and 16 and, because it鈥檚 selling so well, I just added Friday April 19!
This week I had George Salazar on Seth Speaks my weekly SiriusXM talk show. He鈥檚 starring in Be More Chill, but his Broadway debut was in Godspell.
I asked him about his worst onstage mishap and he told me that while in Godspell his face started sweating and it made his body mic not work. Well, he was suddenly given a hand mic onstage to use and it threw him. He was about to do a parable with one of the other actresses and there was a lot of physicality he realized he鈥檇 have to change it since he was holding a mic. The weirdness of having a mic handed to him and having to think about changing some blocking combined into one panic that made him forget all of his lines. He couldn鈥檛 remember a thing. He didn鈥檛 know what to do, so 鈥e faked his own heart attack. Seriously! He bent over onstage, started huffing and puffing and gasped (into his microphone) 鈥淚 can鈥檛 breathe! I can鈥檛 breathe!鈥� Beverly Jenkins, the stage manager, was in a glass booth above the stage and George could see her. First, he saw her extremely concerned face as she started to get up..and then he saw her realize that he was faking it and she basically sat back down with a one-eyebrow-raised 鈥淟et鈥檚 see where you take this鈥� look. The other actress that did the parable with him would echo whatever he said so he realized she knew the lines as well! Yay! Someone could feed him his lines! He looked at her, imploring her to give him at least her first line, but instead she 鈥渉elped鈥� him by asking leading questions. 鈥淲here are you thinking of going? What are you thinking of doing there?鈥� After that weird version of Password, he finally remembered and did the parable. But he was devastated from the whole experience.
At intermission, he told Beverly he was way too mortified to go back onstage and he wanted his understudy to finish the show. She told him 鈥淥h, please! This has happened to everyone! Get back out there and finish the show!鈥� which he did. After he told me the story, I pointedly reminded him that it actually 诲辞别蝉苍鈥檛 happen to everyone and he is the very first person I鈥檝e ever of that faked a heart attack onstage. He took my note and moved on.
Joe Iconis, the composer-lyricist of Be More Chill joined George at the interview, and at the end I asked them to do a song from the show. I filmed it and, man, I was blown away from watching George. The acting and the singing was so fantastic! Watch:
James and I went down to Dallas to see the Uptown Players鈥� (sold-out!) production of Disaster!. It was g-r-e-a-t!
We were especially obsessed with Cara Statham Serber who played Jackie. So extremely hilarious! Amazing choices that made us laugh so hard. The show has gotten so many amazing reviews and this is the last week of their run so !
The next day, I flew to New Orleans to do a (sold-out!) show with Jeremy Jordan. Of course, he sounded fantastic. I was asking him about early jobs, and he told me he worked for an organization where he would do concerts for infants and toddlers. He was given tons of material to learn each week and then do a performance for a very young audience and their parents. Well, one week he decided to go off script and add some sass for the parents. He was supposed to introduce an object and he decided to make it a guessing game: 鈥淗ey, kids! What do I have behind my back? It鈥檚 hot! It鈥檚 hard! And you lick it!鈥� Pause. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 right鈥 lollipop!鈥� Well, the powers-that-be were not amused by his new script work and he was summarily fired. He tried to explain that the kids didn鈥檛 know his double-entendres鈥t was for the parents! Hmm. I decided his verbiage was confusing. I asked him why he described an lollipop as 鈥渉ot.鈥� He admitted that, indeed, it had been a misfire. He was thinking of ice cream鈥nd how it鈥檚 hot out when you eat it. What? Ice cream is not a lollipop and the weather does not describe an object. I decided that I wouldn鈥檛 have fired him for racy language鈥ut, instead, for terrible prose work.
James and I went to see and we can see why she got incredible reviews. It鈥檚 such a tour-de-force performance! So amazing that Rex Reed wrote that she gives a 鈥渃ommand performance in every way鈥�. However, James and I thought it was hilarious that he told everyone to keep an eye on 鈥渘ewcomer鈥� Andr茅a Burns because she is 鈥済oing places.鈥� Wait, what? She鈥檚 done five Broadway shows and made her first big splash in New York when she was one of the stars of Songs For A New World. Newcomer? This is from 1995!
Ok鈥 have to start packing! After the cruise next week and London, I head to Pittsburgh to do Rhapsody In Seth () and then I do it again at Largo in Los Angeles ().
Peace out!
