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PHOTO EXCLUSIVE: A Two-Show Day at How to Succeed With Rob Bartlett

John Larroquette, one of the single funniest humans on the planet, is always backstage to welcome me. We share a "moment" before every show... and usually, a couple of really filthy jokes. — PHOTO EXCLUSIVE: A Two-Show Day at How to Succeed With Rob Bartlett

Broadway favorite Rob Bartlett, currently appearing as Mr. Twimble and Wally Womper in the starry revival of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, offers �뵺��.com readers an exclusive look at a recent two-show day, from morning wakeup and pre-theatre radio duties to final bow.
64 PHOTOS

Hi Diddlee Dee, an actor’s life for me! On Wednesdays, I get to sleep until 4... AM! — Hi Diddlee Dee, an actor’s life for me! On Wednesdays, I get to sleep until 4... AM!

Rob Bartlett

In the first of two makeup chairs I will occupy this day, at Fox, where we simulcast the TV portion of the "Imus In The Morning" radio program. Chris and Bismarck attempt to make me look like Gary Busey... — In the first of two makeup chairs I will occupy this day, at Fox, where we simulcast the TV portion of the "Imus In The Morning" radio program. Chris and Bismarck attempt to make me look like Gary Busey...

Rob Bartlett

... which they do, brilliantly. — ... which they do, brilliantly.

Rob Bartlett

In the Fox Green Room, Carley, our PA and on-air correspondent, gets advice from The Robio. I like to help the young kids navigate their way through this soul-crushing business, while also letting them know it’s the greatest business in the world. — In the Fox Green Room, Carley, our PA and on-air correspondent, gets advice from The Robio. I like to help the young kids navigate their way through this soul-crushing business, while also letting them know it’s the greatest business in the world.

Rob Bartlett

On set, getting into character. I tap into my "inner child." CHILD = "Creative, Hamish Instinct, Lovingly Displayed." — On set, getting into character. I tap into my "inner child." CHILD = "Creative, Hamish Instinct, Lovingly Displayed."

Rob Bartlett

Next Slide

After the radio show is over at 10 AM, I walk the three blocks from the Fox Studios to the Al Hirschfeld Theatre. I’m almost always late for half hour. I like to walk slowly. — After the radio show is over at 10 AM, I walk the three blocks from the Fox Studios to the Al Hirschfeld Theatre. I’m almost always late for half hour. I like to walk slowly.

Rob Bartlett

In just a little while, these beautiful seats will be filled by the beautiful bums of our beautiful audience. We have the greatest fans on Broadway, hands down. — In just a little while, these beautiful seats will be filled by the beautiful bums of our beautiful audience. We have the greatest fans on Broadway, hands down.

Rob Bartlett

John Larroquette, one of the single funniest humans on the planet, is always backstage to welcome me. We share a "moment" before every show... and usually, a couple of really filthy jokes. — John Larroquette, one of the single funniest humans on the planet, is always backstage to welcome me. We share a "moment" before every show... and usually, a couple of really filthy jokes.

Rob Bartlett

Shannon Hammons, Jim Athens, Pat Sosnow and The Great Michael Passaro, (It’s actually part of his legal name, I saw his driver’s license) our crack Stage Management team, are always working... except for when they’re enjoying some tasteful internet — Shannon Hammons, Jim Athens, Pat Sosnow and The Great Michael Passaro, (It’s actually part of his legal name, I saw his driver’s license) our crack Stage Management team, are always working... except for when they’re enjoying some tasteful internet porn.

Rob Bartlett

Marty Lawson, one of the Olympic Athletes we call a Male Ensemble Member. He has to shave before every performance. — Marty Lawson, one of the Olympic Athletes we call a Male Ensemble Member. He has to shave before every performance.

Rob Bartlett

In the Wig Vault. The show utilizes 3,756 wigs during every performance. According to legend, Star Jones had names for all the wigs she used on "The View." For some reason, all of our hairpieces, except mine, are named Paige Faure. — In the Wig Vault. The show utilizes 3,756 wigs during every performance. According to legend, Star Jones had names for all the wigs she used on "The View." For some reason, all of our hairpieces, except mine, are named Paige Faure.

Rob Bartlett

Tanya Birl, one of the fiercest triple threats you will ever see on Broadway, getting "Wigged" by Carla Muniz, Follicle Artiste. — Tanya Birl, one of the fiercest triple threats you will ever see on Broadway, getting "Wigged" by Carla Muniz, Follicle Artiste.

Rob Bartlett

My show husband, Michael Park, making looking cool look easy. I want to do an action comedy where we’re two mismatched detectives who, despite their differences, are partnered together & develop an abiding love and respect for each other. Never been don — My show husband, Michael Park, making looking cool look easy. I want to do an action comedy where we’re two mismatched detectives who, despite their differences, are partnered together & develop an abiding love and respect for each other. Never been done!

Rob Bartlett

Barry and Jeffrey, Mr. Larroquette’s and my dressers, respectively, show their incredible professionalism and attention to detail of their craft. One of the main reasons why our show runs as smoothly as it does. — Barry and Jeffrey, Mr. Larroquette’s and my dressers, respectively, show their incredible professionalism and attention to detail of their craft. One of the main reasons why our show runs as smoothly as it does.

Rob Bartlett

Jeffrey holding Twimble’s apron. Cathy Zuber’s design completes the character, and I would be naked without it. Literally. There was an awkward moment during previews when, due to some very strong cough medication, I did "Company Way" completely nude — Jeffrey holding Twimble’s apron. Cathy Zuber’s design completes the character, and I would be naked without it. Literally. There was an awkward moment during previews when, due to some very strong cough medication, I did "Company Way" completely nude.

Rob Bartlett

Trevor helping Twimble get into the apron, effectively saving our sold-out matinee crowd from nausea and traumatic hysterical blindness. — Trevor helping Twimble get into the apron, effectively saving our sold-out matinee crowd from nausea and traumatic hysterical blindness.

Rob Bartlett

David "Chris" Hull, one of our amazing male ensemble dancers, stretching before the first show. I think I also saw this position in an old copy of The Kama Sutra. — David "Chris" Hull, one of our amazing male ensemble dancers, stretching before the first show. I think I also saw this position in an old copy of The Kama Sutra.

Rob Bartlett

Joey Sorge helping Samantha Zack with her extension. When you look up the word "Limber" in the dictionary, you will see this very same picture. — Joey Sorge helping Samantha Zack with her extension. When you look up the word "Limber" in the dictionary, you will see this very same picture.

Rob Bartlett

The multi-talented Kevin Covert, one of the Twimble/Womper understudies. It’s bad form for a replacement to be better than the original, but he refuses to adhere to that basic, theatrical tenet. In the name of Eve Harrington, I’d better not get sick — The multi-talented Kevin Covert, one of the Twimble/Womper understudies. It’s bad form for a replacement to be better than the original, but he refuses to adhere to that basic, theatrical tenet. In the name of Eve Harrington, I’d better not get sick.

Rob Bartlett

Our musical director David Chase providing Stephanie Rothenberg and Sam Zack with some of his observations and comments on headline issues of the day. Okay, at this point, Sam is really just showing off. — Our musical director David Chase providing Stephanie Rothenberg and Sam Zack with some of his observations and comments on headline issues of the day. Okay, at this point, Sam is really just showing off.

Rob Bartlett

John with Penny Daulton, our company manager. John signs a new contract before every show. That’s what you call the dedication of a true professional. — John with Penny Daulton, our company manager. John signs a new contract before every show. That’s what you call the dedication of a true professional.

Rob Bartlett

Matt Wall and Erica Mansfield, two of our incredible Swings, getting some notes from our dance captain, the brilliant Sarah O’Gleby, my favorite British import (next to the Beatles). — Matt Wall and Erica Mansfield, two of our incredible Swings, getting some notes from our dance captain, the brilliant Sarah O’Gleby, my favorite British import (next to the Beatles).

Rob Bartlett

The chameleon-like Nick Mayo, as one of the 87 characters he plays in the show. There is no funnier, more gifted and talented actor on Broadway. I cannot wait for him to become a huge star and forget that he knows me. — The chameleon-like Nick Mayo, as one of the 87 characters he plays in the show. There is no funnier, more gifted and talented actor on Broadway. I cannot wait for him to become a huge star and forget that he knows me.

Rob Bartlett

Joe Mooneyham, one of my most favorite people in the building. This is our second show together, (met on <i>Chicago</i>). We share a mutual love for the comic genius of Morty Gunty and the haute cuisine known as South Carolina Mustard Based BBQ. — Joe Mooneyham, one of my most favorite people in the building. This is our second show together, (met on Chicago). We share a mutual love for the comic genius of Morty Gunty and the haute cuisine known as South Carolina Mustard Based BBQ.

Rob Bartlett

The Lovely and Talented Miss Cameron Adams. — The Lovely and Talented Miss Cameron Adams.

Rob Bartlett

The "So Talented It’s Stupid" Mary Faber, as Smitty, getting into places for the top of the show. That’s not her real hair. Or glasses. Or fingers, interestingly enough. They’re a prosthetic. It was a character choice. — The "So Talented It’s Stupid" Mary Faber, as Smitty, getting into places for the top of the show. That’s not her real hair. Or glasses. Or fingers, interestingly enough. They’re a prosthetic. It was a character choice.

Rob Bartlett

Megan Sikora and Barrett Martin, the "Mom and Dad" of our company. This is Megan’s 657th Broadway show, almost a record for someone who is only 17 years old. — Megan Sikora and Barrett Martin, the "Mom and Dad" of our company. This is Megan’s 657th Broadway show, almost a record for someone who is only 17 years old.

Rob Bartlett

Dave Hull (Hey girls, he’s single!) in position on the towers of our gorgeous set, designed by Derek Maclane. He didn’t get nominated for this set, although I prefer his work with buildings over boats. Regardless, the man’s a freakin' genius. — Dave Hull (Hey girls, he’s single!) in position on the towers of our gorgeous set, designed by Derek Maclane. He didn’t get nominated for this set, although I prefer his work with buildings over boats. Regardless, the man’s a freakin' genius.

Rob Bartlett

Cleve Asbury and Paige Faure, mere moments before the downbeat of the overture. As you can see, they are deeply focused, intense and serious actors. — Cleve Asbury and Paige Faure, mere moments before the downbeat of the overture. As you can see, they are deeply focused, intense and serious actors.

Rob Bartlett

The stunningly beautiful Tammy Blanchard, awaiting her entrance as Hedy LaRue. I originally was going to wear this costume as Twimble, but Rob Ashford thought that it might be a confusing take on the character. — The stunningly beautiful Tammy Blanchard, awaiting her entrance as Hedy LaRue. I originally was going to wear this costume as Twimble, but Rob Ashford thought that it might be a confusing take on the character.

Rob Bartlett

Before the Overture starts, we all gather in a circle for our pre-show ritual, where we compare manicures. Larroquette always wins. — Before the Overture starts, we all gather in a circle for our pre-show ritual, where we compare manicures. Larroquette always wins.

Rob Bartlett

Michael Passaro, ready to call the show. “Ladies and Gentlemen, all photographic and recording devices strictly forbidden. At this time, please turn off all cell phones and pacemakers. Enjoy the show.” — Michael Passaro, ready to call the show. “Ladies and Gentlemen, all photographic and recording devices strictly forbidden. At this time, please turn off all cell phones and pacemakers. Enjoy the show.��

Rob Bartlett

One of the many moods of Christopher J. Hanke as Bud Frump. This one is blue. — One of the many moods of Christopher J. Hanke as Bud Frump. This one is blue.

Rob Bartlett

"Walt," the toupee I wear as Wally Womper to help make his character more distinctively different from my Twimble... in lieu of acting. — "Walt," the toupee I wear as Wally Womper to help make his character more distinctively different from my Twimble... in lieu of acting.

Rob Bartlett

Second Act. Carla Muniz, Follicle Artiste, getting me into "Walt." — Second Act. Carla Muniz, Follicle Artiste, getting me into "Walt."

Rob Bartlett

After the first show, the fans line up waiting for my autograph. They usually stay until after I’ve left to go to dinner, I’m not exactly sure why. I think it takes them a little time to recover from the thrill of realizing that they’ve met The Ro — After the first show, the fans line up waiting for my autograph. They usually stay until after I’ve left to go to dinner, I’m not exactly sure why. I think it takes them a little time to recover from the thrill of realizing that they’ve met The Robio.

Rob Bartlett

The first of the three dinners I will consume to keep up my energy is taken at Rio, right next door to the theatre. (Okay not RIGHT next door, that would be the topless club, which is another story altogether). My friend Yoko always takes good care of me. — The first of the three dinners I will consume to keep up my energy is taken at Rio, right next door to the theatre. (Okay not RIGHT next door, that would be the topless club, which is another story altogether). My friend Yoko always takes good care of me.

Rob Bartlett

Kitsune Udon. Nectar of the Gods. — Kitsune Udon. Nectar of the Gods.

Rob Bartlett

The fifth course. Later on I will have a pizza delivered before intermission. And then, just before I go down for "Brotherhood of Man," I will treat myself to a couple of cheesesteaks. — The fifth course. Later on I will have a pizza delivered before intermission. And then, just before I go down for "Brotherhood of Man," I will treat myself to a couple of cheesesteaks.

Rob Bartlett

On two-show days the feet are the first thing to go. It’s important to pamper them as much as possible. After dancing my heart out during the first show and a light couple of dinners, I treat myself with a visit to the Polish Sausage Foot Spa on 10th Av — On two-show days the feet are the first thing to go. It’s important to pamper them as much as possible. After dancing my heart out during the first show and a light couple of dinners, I treat myself with a visit to the Polish Sausage Foot Spa on 10th Ave.

Rob Bartlett

I opt for a #7: The Warsaw Special. Nothing soothes aching piggies like some smoked, cured pork links. — I opt for a #7: The Warsaw Special. Nothing soothes aching piggies like some smoked, cured pork links.

Rob Bartlett

Back to work. Neil, our backstage door guardian. He always asks me for ID and sometimes performs a cavity search. You’d think that, after four months, he’d recognize me and remember I’m part of the show. — Back to work. Neil, our backstage door guardian. He always asks me for ID and sometimes performs a cavity search. You’d think that, after four months, he’d recognize me and remember I’m part of the show.

Rob Bartlett

Don’t forget to sign in. Or you won’t get paid. Not that we’re doing this for money. If the producers are reading this... of COURSE we’re doing it for money! — Don’t forget to sign in. Or you won’t get paid. Not that we’re doing this for money. If the producers are reading this... of COURSE we’re doing it for money!

Rob Bartlett

Michaeljon Slinger, one of our ubiquitous Swings. He can literally do the entire show by himself. And he has, so I’m told, up in the Male Ensemble dressing room. — Michaeljon Slinger, one of our ubiquitous Swings. He can literally do the entire show by himself. And he has, so I’m told, up in the Male Ensemble dressing room.

Rob Bartlett

Ellen Harvey preparing herself for show #2. Makeup and champagne are both part of her "process." I have a similar process, except mine involves bacon. — Ellen Harvey preparing herself for show #2. Makeup and champagne are both part of her "process." I have a similar process, except mine involves bacon.

Rob Bartlett

David Chase getting into his tuxedo before the evening performance. He always wears a tux, even when he’s not conducting. David’s wife, the lovely actress Paula Legget, told me David even wears a tux to bed. You gotta love a man who dresses formal. — David Chase getting into his tuxedo before the evening performance. He always wears a tux, even when he’s not conducting. David’s wife, the lovely actress Paula Legget, told me David even wears a tux to bed. You gotta love a man who dresses formal.

Rob Bartlett

The best female ensemble on Broadway getting ready to do it again. They all love me. Many of them thank me in their �뵺�� bios. Somebody told me they thought it was really Rob Ashford who they were thanking, but I know better. — The best female ensemble on Broadway getting ready to do it again. They all love me. Many of them thank me in their �뵺�� bios. Somebody told me they thought it was really Rob Ashford who they were thanking, but I know better.

Rob Bartlett

Miss Blanchard in her dressing room. That particular shade of pink cannot be found anywhere in nature. — Miss Blanchard in her dressing room. That particular shade of pink cannot be found anywhere in nature.

Rob Bartlett

Ryan Watkinson and Charlie Williams, warming up. Although, as you can see, they’re both pretty damn hot already. — Ryan Watkinson and Charlie Williams, warming up. Although, as you can see, they’re both pretty damn hot already.

Rob Bartlett

The lovely Shannon Hammons, one of our ASMs, taking attendance. Present. And accounted for. — The lovely Shannon Hammons, one of our ASMs, taking attendance. Present. And accounted for.

Rob Bartlett

Paige Faure adjusting her microphone, getting into places. I have the same dress, in teal, because I’m a "Summer." Royal Blue always makes me look like half of a Howard Johnson’s restaurant. — Paige Faure adjusting her microphone, getting into places. I have the same dress, in teal, because I’m a "Summer." Royal Blue always makes me look like half of a Howard Johnson’s restaurant.

Rob Bartlett

Okay, Sam. This is just ridiculous now. I couldn’t do that... even when I could do that. — Okay, Sam. This is just ridiculous now. I couldn’t do that... even when I could do that.

Rob Bartlett

John and Christopher witnessing a Wardrobe Malfunction on one of the towers as "Places" is called. — John and Christopher witnessing a Wardrobe Malfunction on one of the towers as "Places" is called.

Rob Bartlett

Michael Passaro giving some pre-Show notes just before curtain. Okay, I’m lying. We’re actually looking at photos of David Chase dressed as a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader from one of the Hasty Pudding Revues he did while at Harvard. — Michael Passaro giving some pre-Show notes just before curtain. Okay, I’m lying. We’re actually looking at photos of David Chase dressed as a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader from one of the Hasty Pudding Revues he did while at Harvard.

Rob Bartlett

Miss Rose Hemingway, getting into character. But don’t be fooled, Rose can drink anybody under the table. I once challenged her to a Boilermaker Contest at Angus. After the #43, I passed out. She finished hers then went to Joe Allen’s for a Nightca — Miss Rose Hemingway, getting into character. But don’t be fooled, Rose can drink anybody under the table. I once challenged her to a Boilermaker Contest at Angus. After the #43, I passed out. She finished hers then went to Joe Allen’s for a Nightcap.

Rob Bartlett

Miss Harvey downstairs in the basement, either studying lines or checking Backstage and Variety for casting notices. There’s no such thing as a steady gig in Show Biz, so it pays to be prepared for any eventuality. — Miss Harvey downstairs in the basement, either studying lines or checking Backstage and Variety for casting notices. There’s no such thing as a steady gig in Show Biz, so it pays to be prepared for any eventuality.

Rob Bartlett

Michael Park and I relaxing at intermission, playing a game of Strip Cribbage. He cheats. — Michael Park and I relaxing at intermission, playing a game of Strip Cribbage. He cheats.

Rob Bartlett

At intermission, my dear, close friend Daniel Radcliffe stops by for career advice and counsel. I told him he needs to get himself a starring role in some kind of film franchise, you know, so he can begin making a name for himself in this business. — At intermission, my dear, close friend Daniel Radcliffe stops by for career advice and counsel. I told him he needs to get himself a starring role in some kind of film franchise, you know, so he can begin making a name for himself in this business.

Rob Bartlett

One of my amazing fans made this beautiful "Company Way" poster for me that I hang proudly in my dressing room. I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like. Plus, it helps me remember the lyrics to the song, which I frequently forget. — One of my amazing fans made this beautiful "Company Way" poster for me that I hang proudly in my dressing room. I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like. Plus, it helps me remember the lyrics to the song, which I frequently forget.

Rob Bartlett

Within moments of the curtain coming down, the incomparable Justin Keyes is back in street clothes, ready to patrol the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, keeping it safe for Broadway Babies everywhere. — Within moments of the curtain coming down, the incomparable Justin Keyes is back in street clothes, ready to patrol the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, keeping it safe for Broadway Babies everywhere.

Rob Bartlett

After the show, the crowds begin to form at the Stage Door with fans eager for my autograph. — After the show, the crowds begin to form at the Stage Door with fans eager for my autograph.

Rob Bartlett

There are so many of them, they also have to line up across the street. I will sign one for every single person there. Sometimes it’s a struggle forcing them to give me something to sign, but I know they’re just being shy. — There are so many of them, they also have to line up across the street. I will sign one for every single person there. Sometimes it’s a struggle forcing them to give me something to sign, but I know they’re just being shy.

Rob Bartlett

When doing a Broadway show, and especially while also moonlighting as a radio and television personality, it’s important to get your rest. So I make sure I get my naps in. Even when I’m driving to... — When doing a Broadway show, and especially while also moonlighting as a radio and television personality, it’s important to get your rest. So I make sure I get my naps in. Even when I’m driving to...

Rob Bartlett

... and from the city. Tonight, I’ll be home by 12:30 AM. I will shower, have a couple of sandwiches and turn in for a good two or three hours of sleep until it’s time to do it all over again! Hi Diddle Dee Dee! An actor’s life for me! — ... and from the city. Tonight, I’ll be home by 12:30 AM. I will shower, have a couple of sandwiches and turn in for a good two or three hours of sleep until it’s time to do it all over again! Hi Diddle Dee Dee! An actor’s life for me!

Rob Bartlett

John Larroquette, one of the single funniest humans on the planet, is always backstage to welcome me. We share a "moment" before every show... and usually, a couple of really filthy jokes.

Hi Diddlee Dee, an actor’s life for me! On Wednesdays, I get to sleep until 4... AM!

In the first of two makeup chairs I will occupy this day, at Fox, where we simulcast the TV portion of the "Imus In The Morning" radio program. Chris and Bismarck attempt to make me look like Gary Busey...

... which they do, brilliantly.

In the Fox Green Room, Carley, our PA and on-air correspondent, gets advice from The Robio. I like to help the young kids navigate their way through this soul-crushing business, while also letting them know it’s the greatest business in the world.

On set, getting into character. I tap into my "inner child." CHILD = "Creative, Hamish Instinct, Lovingly Displayed."

After the radio show is over at 10 AM, I walk the three blocks from the Fox Studios to the Al Hirschfeld Theatre. I’m almost always late for half hour. I like to walk slowly.

In just a little while, these beautiful seats will be filled by the beautiful bums of our beautiful audience. We have the greatest fans on Broadway, hands down.

John Larroquette, one of the single funniest humans on the planet, is always backstage to welcome me. We share a "moment" before every show... and usually, a couple of really filthy jokes.

Shannon Hammons, Jim Athens, Pat Sosnow and The Great Michael Passaro, (It’s actually part of his legal name, I saw his driver’s license) our crack Stage Management team, are always working... except for when they’re enjoying some tasteful internet

Marty Lawson, one of the Olympic Athletes we call a Male Ensemble Member. He has to shave before every performance.

In the Wig Vault. The show utilizes 3,756 wigs during every performance. According to legend, Star Jones had names for all the wigs she used on "The View." For some reason, all of our hairpieces, except mine, are named Paige Faure.

Tanya Birl, one of the fiercest triple threats you will ever see on Broadway, getting "Wigged" by Carla Muniz, Follicle Artiste.

My show husband, Michael Park, making looking cool look easy. I want to do an action comedy where we’re two mismatched detectives who, despite their differences, are partnered together & develop an abiding love and respect for each other. Never been don

Barry and Jeffrey, Mr. Larroquette’s and my dressers, respectively, show their incredible professionalism and attention to detail of their craft. One of the main reasons why our show runs as smoothly as it does.

Jeffrey holding Twimble’s apron. Cathy Zuber’s design completes the character, and I would be naked without it. Literally. There was an awkward moment during previews when, due to some very strong cough medication, I did "Company Way" completely nude

Trevor helping Twimble get into the apron, effectively saving our sold-out matinee crowd from nausea and traumatic hysterical blindness.

David "Chris" Hull, one of our amazing male ensemble dancers, stretching before the first show. I think I also saw this position in an old copy of The Kama Sutra.

Joey Sorge helping Samantha Zack with her extension. When you look up the word "Limber" in the dictionary, you will see this very same picture.

The multi-talented Kevin Covert, one of the Twimble/Womper understudies. It’s bad form for a replacement to be better than the original, but he refuses to adhere to that basic, theatrical tenet. In the name of Eve Harrington, I’d better not get sick

Our musical director David Chase providing Stephanie Rothenberg and Sam Zack with some of his observations and comments on headline issues of the day. Okay, at this point, Sam is really just showing off.

John with Penny Daulton, our company manager. John signs a new contract before every show. That’s what you call the dedication of a true professional.

Matt Wall and Erica Mansfield, two of our incredible Swings, getting some notes from our dance captain, the brilliant Sarah O’Gleby, my favorite British import (next to the Beatles).

The chameleon-like Nick Mayo, as one of the 87 characters he plays in the show. There is no funnier, more gifted and talented actor on Broadway. I cannot wait for him to become a huge star and forget that he knows me.

Joe Mooneyham, one of my most favorite people in the building. This is our second show together, (met on <i>Chicago</i>). We share a mutual love for the comic genius of Morty Gunty and the haute cuisine known as South Carolina Mustard Based BBQ.

The Lovely and Talented Miss Cameron Adams.

The "So Talented It’s Stupid" Mary Faber, as Smitty, getting into places for the top of the show. That’s not her real hair. Or glasses. Or fingers, interestingly enough. They’re a prosthetic. It was a character choice.

Megan Sikora and Barrett Martin, the "Mom and Dad" of our company. This is Megan’s 657th Broadway show, almost a record for someone who is only 17 years old.

Dave Hull (Hey girls, he’s single!) in position on the towers of our gorgeous set, designed by Derek Maclane. He didn’t get nominated for this set, although I prefer his work with buildings over boats. Regardless, the man’s a freakin' genius.

Cleve Asbury and Paige Faure, mere moments before the downbeat of the overture. As you can see, they are deeply focused, intense and serious actors.

The stunningly beautiful Tammy Blanchard, awaiting her entrance as Hedy LaRue. I originally was going to wear this costume as Twimble, but Rob Ashford thought that it might be a confusing take on the character.

Before the Overture starts, we all gather in a circle for our pre-show ritual, where we compare manicures. Larroquette always wins.

Michael Passaro, ready to call the show. “Ladies and Gentlemen, all photographic and recording devices strictly forbidden. At this time, please turn off all cell phones and pacemakers. Enjoy the show.”

One of the many moods of Christopher J. Hanke as Bud Frump. This one is blue.

"Walt," the toupee I wear as Wally Womper to help make his character more distinctively different from my Twimble... in lieu of acting.

Second Act. Carla Muniz, Follicle Artiste, getting me into "Walt."

After the first show, the fans line up waiting for my autograph. They usually stay until after I’ve left to go to dinner, I’m not exactly sure why. I think it takes them a little time to recover from the thrill of realizing that they’ve met The Ro

The first of the three dinners I will consume to keep up my energy is taken at Rio, right next door to the theatre. (Okay not RIGHT next door, that would be the topless club, which is another story altogether). My friend Yoko always takes good care of me.

Kitsune Udon. Nectar of the Gods.

The fifth course. Later on I will have a pizza delivered before intermission. And then, just before I go down for "Brotherhood of Man," I will treat myself to a couple of cheesesteaks.

On two-show days the feet are the first thing to go. It’s important to pamper them as much as possible. After dancing my heart out during the first show and a light couple of dinners, I treat myself with a visit to the Polish Sausage Foot Spa on 10th Av

I opt for a #7: The Warsaw Special. Nothing soothes aching piggies like some smoked, cured pork links.

Back to work. Neil, our backstage door guardian. He always asks me for ID and sometimes performs a cavity search. You’d think that, after four months, he’d recognize me and remember I’m part of the show.

Don’t forget to sign in. Or you won’t get paid. Not that we’re doing this for money. If the producers are reading this... of COURSE we’re doing it for money!

Michaeljon Slinger, one of our ubiquitous Swings. He can literally do the entire show by himself. And he has, so I’m told, up in the Male Ensemble dressing room.

Ellen Harvey preparing herself for show #2. Makeup and champagne are both part of her "process." I have a similar process, except mine involves bacon.

David Chase getting into his tuxedo before the evening performance. He always wears a tux, even when he’s not conducting. David’s wife, the lovely actress Paula Legget, told me David even wears a tux to bed. You gotta love a man who dresses formal.

The best female ensemble on Broadway getting ready to do it again. They all love me. Many of them thank me in their �뵺�� bios. Somebody told me they thought it was really Rob Ashford who they were thanking, but I know better.

Miss Blanchard in her dressing room. That particular shade of pink cannot be found anywhere in nature.

Ryan Watkinson and Charlie Williams, warming up. Although, as you can see, they’re both pretty damn hot already.

The lovely Shannon Hammons, one of our ASMs, taking attendance. Present. And accounted for.

Paige Faure adjusting her microphone, getting into places. I have the same dress, in teal, because I’m a "Summer." Royal Blue always makes me look like half of a Howard Johnson’s restaurant.

Okay, Sam. This is just ridiculous now. I couldn’t do that... even when I could do that.

John and Christopher witnessing a Wardrobe Malfunction on one of the towers as "Places" is called.

Michael Passaro giving some pre-Show notes just before curtain. Okay, I’m lying. We’re actually looking at photos of David Chase dressed as a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader from one of the Hasty Pudding Revues he did while at Harvard.

Miss Rose Hemingway, getting into character. But don’t be fooled, Rose can drink anybody under the table. I once challenged her to a Boilermaker Contest at Angus. After the #43, I passed out. She finished hers then went to Joe Allen’s for a Nightca

Miss Harvey downstairs in the basement, either studying lines or checking Backstage and Variety for casting notices. There’s no such thing as a steady gig in Show Biz, so it pays to be prepared for any eventuality.

Michael Park and I relaxing at intermission, playing a game of Strip Cribbage. He cheats.

At intermission, my dear, close friend Daniel Radcliffe stops by for career advice and counsel. I told him he needs to get himself a starring role in some kind of film franchise, you know, so he can begin making a name for himself in this business.

One of my amazing fans made this beautiful "Company Way" poster for me that I hang proudly in my dressing room. I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like. Plus, it helps me remember the lyrics to the song, which I frequently forget.

Within moments of the curtain coming down, the incomparable Justin Keyes is back in street clothes, ready to patrol the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, keeping it safe for Broadway Babies everywhere.

After the show, the crowds begin to form at the Stage Door with fans eager for my autograph.

There are so many of them, they also have to line up across the street. I will sign one for every single person there. Sometimes it’s a struggle forcing them to give me something to sign, but I know they’re just being shy.

When doing a Broadway show, and especially while also moonlighting as a radio and television personality, it’s important to get your rest. So I make sure I get my naps in. Even when I’m driving to...

... and from the city. Tonight, I’ll be home by 12:30 AM. I will shower, have a couple of sandwiches and turn in for a good two or three hours of sleep until it’s time to do it all over again! Hi Diddle Dee Dee! An actor’s life for me!

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