半岛体育

INSTRUCTIONS

After you have confirmed you are fully available for all of our performances and rehearsal time frames, please send us a video of either monologue, fill out this google form, and upload all files at the link below:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdXoEC4sFG5kzI5tJVq_WvpqZkS-Pf7Gsn-ObxjemjuCHtIaQ/viewform

You can find more info at our instagram, @ifwereallywerewitches

Any questions or problems, please email us at [email protected]. We are also in the process of working on an AEA showcase code agreement. Thanks!

REHEARSALS & PERFORMANCES

THE RAT (BROOKLYN)

Rehearsals: July 2nd - July 15th (in NYC)

Performances: July 16th, 17th, 18th at 9pm, July 19th at 4:30pm

Pay: $100 a show

SCRANTON FRINGE FESTIVAL

Rehearsals: September 19th - 24th (in NYC)

Performances: TBD between September 25th - October 5th

Pay: $100 a show (more details incoming). Travel to/from Scranton from the NYC area and housing will be paid for.

OCTOBER SHOW

Rehearsals: October 13th - 17th (in NYC)

Performances: TBD between October 18th - November 2nd

Pay: $100 a show (more details incoming), in NYC.

MONOLOGUES FOR AUDITIONS - Please feel free to just choose one!

Monologue 1: Head Witch Hunter John Thomas, arrogant and ridiculous, delivered in the style of a pompous Ted Talk.

Greetings to thee, righteous followers of the light! It is I, your humble servant, Master Witch Hunter John Thomas! Today I bring to you the latest from the most trustworthy source on the stamping out of witchcraft-- me! That is right, I, the head witch hunter, and five-time annual royal witch hunt champion, will share my most successful tactics to bag yourself a witch! Just pick up my most modestly innovative publication to date: 鈥淗ow to Know She Be a Witch: A Guide For the Benefit of the Whole Entire World.鈥� My latest pamphlets will give you all the best tips, tricks and secrets to seeking out those sadistic satanic sisters in your town! And as special bonus content, I have included my own recipe for bread, signed with the likeness of my very own signature! Do not wait until she hath made Satan her mate!

Monologue 2: Head Witch, 鈥淛ust over it all.鈥� She has just magically 鈥渇rozen鈥� a witch hunter and she is deciding what to do with him.

You know, I鈥檓 tired-- I am so absolutely tired. We go around searching for these overinflated windbags and try and stop them before they hurt people -- and then what? Day in, day out, week after week, month after month, year after year; we hex this one鈥檚 chickens, we curse that one鈥檚 crops-- but lately I鈥檝e been asking myself: What鈥檚 it really all about? What are we getting at? Are we really making a point, or are we just reinforcing all of the negative witchly stereotypes? I mean, I like to think we鈥檙e teaching these sour ram鈥檚 testicles a lesson when we cause them ill fortune or mess with them, but are they ever really learning? And sure, I still laugh when we make one of them sprout a tail or an extra ear, but maybe, just maybe, the way to make real change is to sit down and talk: Meet them face to face. Somewhere buried in that soft skull is a mind, and there must be a way to reach it. So this time, let鈥檚 try talking. Eh-ehm. Sir, hello. My name is Mildred. I am a person-- well, mostly; and I have feelings and thoughts, and-- Hey! My eyes are up here, pal! --and ideas, same as you. I just want to know: What is it about me that makes you so afraid? Yes, of course I could crush your windpipe or stop your heart with a flick of my wrist-- but at the end of the day, are we really that different? I want what you want, which is to live in peace, harmony, and respect for all life. A Utopia, where men and women are equals, and-- nope, it鈥檚 not working, that one鈥檚 trying to get away.